Over the holidays I have a part-time job working in a well-known fast food chain. It may not be glamorous but hey it’s money! I’ve had this job since I was sixteen and since I started University they’ve let me come back every holiday and a few weekends, which is extremely nice of them. I love my job. The people who I work with are some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet and the work is reasonable and fair. The ONLY bad thing about my job is the fact that out of all the customers that we have…
2% of them should NEVER be allowed to interact with other human beings.
Honestly, sometimes it is impressive that these people can manage to get into the shop some days, what with the sheer rank ignorance that surrounds them. And it’s unfortunately this 2% of customers that make the entire process of being in work into an ordeal. As the old saying goes “The customer is always right”. Unfortunately, this isn’t always true but the 2% of customers that are destined to ruin your shift will without a doubt state this to you in a staunch belief that they are right and it is their God-given right to be correct, even when they couldn’t be further from the truth.
This belief in an incorrect statement often leads to what I have charmingly dubbed OCS – Obnoxious Customer Syndrome. Symptoms of OCS include, but are not limited to:
- Inability to accept fault
- Loss of manners
- Reversion to a primal state
- Wildly inappropriate behaviour/speech
Sufferers of OCS should ideally not be allowed to go anywhere near an establishment where there may be the need for them to become a customer. Ideally, these people should be isolated and have a designated “Good Customer Carer” to do their shopping for them, thus eliminating interaction between OCS sufferers and the innocent employees.
Unfortunately this is not the case and Obnoxious Customer Syndrome continues to terrorise the hard-working employees of the world. So, what are some of the worst examples of this? Personally, in my 4 years of work I have had quite a few of these customers cross my path and you do indeed remember the best of the best.
Me: Hi, how can I help you?
Customer: Can I have a cheeseburger please?
Me: So that’s one chicken burger with cheese then?
Customer: NO. A REGULAR cheeseburger!
Me: You do know that we ONLY sell chicken?
Customer: What kind of place is this?
(I calmly point to the store sign, in an effort to explain)
Sometimes they’re not quite as dense as that…
(The store has unfortunately run out of salt due to a delivery error)
Customer: Can I have some salt?
Me: I’m afraid we’ve run out of salt, there was an error with delivery.
Customer: What, you have no salt?
Me: Yes, I’m afraid that’s the case. I’m very sorry.
Customer: How the HELL do YOU run out OF SALT!?
Me: I said there was an error with delivery…
Customer: I CAN’T EAT THIS WITHOUT SALT!
And sometimes you get a “Parent Of The Year Award” nominee…
Customer: Oi mate, watch my kid while I nip out for a fag.
So there are my stories of the joys of dealing with a few OCS sufferers. If you have a taste for this kind of thing, then head on over to Not Always Right for tons of similar stories, I’ve been laughing for a while whilst flicking through the pages.
Just remember, be one of the nice ones next time that you go to a shop/restaurant/etc. You don’t want to be featured on Not Always Right do you 😉